I will sit in my company’s unfinished office space with a woman I hardly know and tell her everything about me, from the most deeply personal details to the most inconsequential. During our interaction I will drink high-quality gin to facilitate the telling.
We will have complete privacy. The unfinished space is full of old computers and broken furniture, and no one comes near this area unless they ask me first. I don’t expect co-workers to approach me the night before Thanksgiving.
I will speak of my favorite books, my favorite sports teams, the difficulty I have disengaging myself from sports-viewing so I can read the books that will be left unread on my bookshelf when I die.
I will tell this woman I am constantly thinking about her, constantly thinking about the moment we will finally be alone, as we are at this moment. I will explain that the gin is an important part of this interaction, it has always been so in my imaginings.
When I’m done with my story, she will have a very clear picture of the type of person I am.
I will go on to ask her various questions and explain that I’ve been hoping to learn anything I can about her, from the seemingly unimportant details to the details she feels are most important. She may or may not provide this information.
You will be upset when you learn of my plan. You will ask why I never show such interest in you and I will drink some gin before I answer.
Eventually I will tell you that the passage of time works against people. We fall into patterns and routines and tend to watch each other in a detached sort of way that has nothing to do with the way we watched each other in the early days.
You won’t understand but I will ask you to understand. Please know that there is a strong motivation to proceed in the way I have described above.
If it helps, you can imagine it like a movie scene: me standing in a doorway on a rainy night (holding a glass of gin), you asking why I have to go, me saying I have no good reason, other than my need to follow through with a plan I made long ago.